I think that we are all aware that, sometimes, interacting with government employees can be difficult…you know, because they act like they are better and smarter than you and all that. So, as I walk into the building, I’m greeted by a bunch of chairs and a bunch of reception stalls…no sign telling me to take a number, take a seat, take a hike…nothing. I clearly looked dumbfounded because one of the receptionists asked if she could help me…’Yes, I recently got married and need to change my name.’ She handed me some forms and I sat in the sea of chairs.
As I go to fill out the paperwork, it asks for my last name. Maybe I was reading too much into it, but I wondered ‘Is this my current last name? Or my new last name? I really don’t feel like having to complete another form if I get this one question wrong…’ I walk up to the receptionist again and say, ‘Ma’am, I’d just like to confirm…where it says ‘Last Name,’ I put in my married last name, correct?’ She responds with ‘You put your last name.’ ‘Right…my married last name?’ ‘That is your last name. It’s kind of like when it becomes a new year and you just starting writing the new year on all of your documents.’ I wish I had a picture of my face. It was a mix of ‘Are you effing kidding me?’ and ‘How do last names relate to years?’ and ‘I’m going to slap you.’ But my final response was ‘Yes, I understand the process of changing years…I’ll write my married last name.’
Then, the best part was that I had to take a new picture and I hadn’t washed my hair or put on makeup. And was wearing an army green sweater with a pink coat…which that was my fault – I shouldn’t have even left the house like that.
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AND THEN, they print me out some sheet of paper that serves as a temporary ID until my real one comes in the mail. Um, where were these ‘temporary IDs’ when I was between the ages of 18-21??? I could have totally made this happen with a scanner, color printer and some gel pens. Hell, I wouldn’t even need the gel pens.