Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Fire Makes Me Panic

Last night, the dogs were outside going to the bathroom and I was standing on the deck. I look over at our neighbors house (who have a long transom window directly in eyeshot) and I see a red flicker. Then I hear a house alarm.

Below are the sequence of events that occurred after I thought my neighbor’s house was on fire:
  • I immediately did a double take of the flicker and was certain that it was fire. 
  • Did a triple take and was 200% sure that it was moving up their living room wall. 
  • I kept my eye on the fire while trying to get back into my house…still looking at the fire…knocked on the brick – that was wrong…still looking at the fire…tried to turn the deadbolt – incorrect…finally grabbed the lever and pulled it. (By this time, Shane is standing at the door wondering what the hell is going on.) 
  • Stacy: “Shane! Call the cops! The neighbor’s house is on fire! Come look!”
  • Shane: “What?!?!”
  • I run back outside. I employ the same door opening techniques to the gate on my deck…fail. I jump over the gate and then realize that I have stairs on the other side…so I grab the railing on the way down, swivel and almost break my wrist.
  • Shane comes back outside, “Are you sure that it’s fire, before I call?”
  • Now that I’m ground level (mind you – wearing PJ’s and socks and having just ninja’d my way off of my deck) I can see the fire clearly. 
  • Oh wait, that’s not fire. What is it? A freaking red, mylar Valentine’s Day heart hanging from the ceiling. 
  • My response to Shane: “S**t…no, it’s just Valentine’s Day decorations. Damn it – I really thought that place was on fire!” Commence full body shakes from adrenaline.
  • Stacy: “Well, 'Operates well under pressure'…F.”
  • Shane: “Yeah, you kind of freaked out there for a minute…”
Moral of the story: Always look twice. Or in my case – five times.


  1. Just imagine the computer screen is the fire.


    Also, a little video about fire!


  2. OMG - I'm dying laughing right now - Stacy that is the funniest story I've heard in a long time...
    It's time to add mylar balloons to your "makes me panic" list!
    I'll be sure to not show up at your house unannounced, with balloons!

  3. that is hilarious!! I'm sorry - I'm scared of fire too - but too funny that it was a balloon! Really it's your neighbor's faul - who the eff decorates with balloons?

  4. Freakin' funniest story I've heard in a long time!!

  5. LOL - glad you guys all got a laugh! I looked at the balloon again last night and honestly have no idea how I mistook it for fire...sheesh.