Fire Makes Me Panic

Last night, the dogs were outside going to the bathroom and I was standing on the deck. I look over at our neighbors house (who have a long transom window directly in eyeshot) and I see a red flicker. Then I hear a house alarm.

Below are the sequence of events that occurred after I thought my neighbor’s house was on fire:

• I immediately did a double take of the flicker and was certain that it was fire. 
• Did a triple take and was 200% sure that it was moving up their living room wall. 
• I kept my eye on the fire while trying to get back into my house…still looking at the fire…knocked on the brick – that was wrong…still looking at the fire…tried to turn the deadbolt – incorrect…finally grabbed the lever and pulled it. (By this time, Shane is standing at the door wondering what the hell is going on.) 
• Stacy: “Shane! Call the cops! The neighbor’s house is on fire! Come look!”
• Shane: “What?!?!”
• I run back outside. I employ the same door opening techniques to the gate on my deck…fail. I jump over the gate and then realize that I have stairs on the other side…so I grab the railing on the way down, swivel and almost break my wrist.
• Shane comes back outside, “Are you sure that it’s fire, before I call?”
• Now that I’m ground level (mind you – wearing PJ’s and socks and having just ninja’d my way off of my deck) I can see the fire clearly. 
• Oh wait, that’s not fire. What is it? A freaking red, mylar Valentine’s Day heart hanging from the ceiling. 
• My response to Shane: “S**t…no, it’s just Valentine’s Day decorations. Damn it – I really thought that place was on fire!” Commence full body shakes from adrenaline.
• Stacy: “Well, 'Operates well under pressure'…F.”
• Shane: “Yeah, you kind of freaked out there for a minute…”

Moral of the story: Always look twice. Or in my case – five times.